WANKBAND: PornHub’s Gift to Mother Nature

[dropcap size=small]F[/dropcap]rom the Scientists of the world’s most widely known porn website network comes an innovation like no other. Well it’s not that much of an innovation as it is a cool lifehack; but I don’t think there are any more scientists at PornHub than plumbers, or doctors or electricians. Anyways let us quit dancing around the issue and face it: [highlight ]presenting the “Wankband”, a wearable generator that works on the principal of transforming kinetic energy associated with oscillating your arm, into electrical energy.[/highlight] In short, it will give you the ability to pump out your jizz and juice for your phone, simultaneously.

Here is its official release video:

So, apparently, PornHub had a bout of responsibility and decided to own up damaging the earth’s Flora and Fauna (and countless potential children), by creating something which will supposedly heal the earth. According to them, by letting “men do what they do best”, they can help men “love the planet by loving themselves”. [highlight ]The Wankband is supposed to be worn at the wrist at the time of self gratification, and at the same time plugged in to the electronic device which you want to charge via USB[/highlight], and this might give you enough talktime on your cell to convince your girlfriend you weren’t jacking off to a Sunny Leone‘s striptease.

This news is coming at a very interesting time for Indians, who just had to wade through barely-a-day long ban on pornographic websites. This device has tipped the scales entirely to the pervert side of every 15 years and above person. Now every time you are lying in front of your laptop, just having spent your seed, you might not have to think, “Why do I do this?” and not have an answer.

All the projected pros of this concept have already been listed in the above video, so I am going to talk about:

Why I think this is not such a cool idea?

1. It’s a publicity stunt. By creating something like this, PornHub will clearly come out behind closed doors. Indian or not, I definitely wouldn’t want “wanking” and “PornHub” becoming household terms.
2. It’s totally not a practical solution to the energy overconsumption. There is a limit to how much time a person with an active social life can spend masturbating.
3. It’s gonna decrease the quality of the act. I mean, imagine jacking off with a USB cable dangling off your wrist.

Regardless of all this, the word is out, and Wankband has captured quite a lot of attention. Wanna see how it turns out? Keep checking gawkinggeeks.io and stay updated.